Put On Your Armor

Put On Your Armor

I recently fell to my knees and I fell hard. I surrendered. I gave up. My white flag was waving. God I don't know what to do anymore.

God picked me up and that's what he's doing right now for you, too. He's rescuing you. He's nurturing you. He's heard your cries. He's heard your prayers. His Angels are coming for you. HE is coming for you. He is fighting your battles. He is fighting battles for you that you don't even know of.

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Life By Storm

This is the Kailee that's been dealing with one thing after another for the last week and a half.

This is the Kailee that's been crying multiple times a day since last Monday.

This is the Kailee that feels kinda, sorta broken and lost and defeated.

God I hear you, I hear you.

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Between stress and heart ache, I'm shot. I am literally emotionally and spiritually drained to the point I'm starting to get physically drained.

Between my fiance's grandma in the hospital for a night, my grandpa falling, my mom falling and very badly spraining her ankle, drama with my dad, getting my hair literally ripped out of my scalp in handfuls by a little boy I nanny for because he was angry, and this morning my grandparents unexpectedly having to put down their fur baby. Oh, all while going full force with this new project that'll be announced soon.

I'm shot. And I can't take any more. God, I can't be SuperWoman. Why do I take on the weight of the world?

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Friends, I'm not asking for sympathy or "I'm sorry" or anything else. I'm sharing all of this because I want you to know that my life is messy too. I want you to know that I struggle too. I want you to know that I'm here for you along this ride.

The hardest lessons God has been gracefully yet messily teaching me is that I'm not SuperWoman, to surrender it all to Him, and to allow the beautiful people He has placed in my life to be a loving friend for me.

God I hear you, I hear you.

The biggest things that He is placing on my heart that I'm humbly working on is while all of this to focus on spending time with Him, to focus on taking care of myself, to transparently share this journey with you, and to get fully involved with my church again.

So are you going through a tough time right now? Do you feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders?

My darling, dearest friend- You are not SuperWoman and that is ok. It's in our darkest moments of weakness that we look down and realize that God is carrying us through these storms. It's in these moments of tears that God stills our minds so He can whisper His loving whisper to us. It's in these moments that He pulls our hearts back to Him and His Plan.

Xo, Kailee

A New Season Is Here

Fall is such a beautiful time of year. Not only is the physical seasons changing, but so are we. And it's good!

One thing I've learned to enjoy is change. I've learned to accept it with open arms because let's face it, change is inevitable and we are always evolving, growing, changing. 

Last week, Carlton and I went on vacation and it was so peaceful. I cried several times soaking in the beauty and peace around me. It was so surreal. 

The most beautiful and important piece lately is the reflection and quiet listening to God's whispering voice. This is quite the journey I have been on lately. 

I kept putting it off and putting it off while getting frustrated with myself that I couldn't bring myself to post anything let alone be on social media. I was annoyed with everything. That's because I got away from who I am, from what God has Called me to do and away from who I'm supposed to help and guide in this life. Nothing could put a fire back in me, nothing could light me up even if I fully understood it, it just wasnt clicking. 

Change is good because it means you no longer associate yourself with those who no longer are serving you energetically. It means you let go of the person you thought you were as you evolve higher and beautifully in God's Love. It means you dont do things (jobs, activities, goals, etc) that no longer feels right. 

It means you finally let go of all the voices telling you that you can't and listen to God's quiet whisper telling you that you can. 

 "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. ~Psalm 139:14 NIV"

Let me tell you, God is certainly giving me a good kick in the booty lately. It's good though.

I've been more emotional as I continue to listen to His quiet whispers encouraging me to be fully open to those around me and to share my journey more openly while sharing my journey with God to help others get closer to Him.

I've been afraid in accepting the change going on in my life of fully letting go of absolutely everything that no longer serves me.

And I've been having such a hard time in opening myself up because I've been trying to do everything on my own.

Yes, I broke. I'm not SuperWoman.

Yes, I cried many times while on vacation with my fiance because I was so overwhelmed by the immense beauty and peace.

Yes, I'm embracing change with open arms.

Yes, I'm opening my heart up to beautiful friendships and relationships with all of you.

Because at the end of the day, my validation is in God and it's not about me. It's about being fully present and open to those who need me, including you.

I love you all and cheers to being on this journey together!