Vulnerable post ahead
Time for me to be honest with you...
Every time I share a glimpse of my life, my stomach does flips and my inner mean girl yells at me to not do it. Including this moment as I'm writing this.
Why am I so afraid of being vulnerable? (Including in person and online, to the point it's been affecting my business)
I'm terrified of being hurt.
I'm terrified of being judged.
I'm terrified of being thought less of.
I'm terrified of starting problems and confrontation.
But most importantly, I'm terrified of being hurt.
I've dealt with hurt, with pain, with sadness. I've felt betrayed by friends, by family, by people I loved. It sucks. Period, end of story, it sucks.
Plus, I've dealt with people who got triggered by things I've posted and blogged about. And it makes me sick to my stomach because I hate confrontation so much.
My inner mean girl has led me to go into hiding.
And it pisses me off that I've allowed myself to basically stay away from creating beautiful friendships, from investing in myself, and just freaking out about everything.
Note to my inner mean girl- I love you, but no more running my life.
AND Satan- GET BEHIND ME...
I've held back so much. And that's not me. You haven't been able to see me, the real me, all of me.
I've been afraid that people will judge me and think less of me because my life is messy, it's far from perfect (including my health journey and my spiritual journey). Because if I'm being honest, I've been struggling lately with my wellness and well, life.
So here it goes...
From here on out, I promise myself and you to show you all of me. To show you everything that is happening in my life, the ups, the downs, the messy, the ins and the outs. I promise to be fully present, to fully give all of myself to those who need me, to fully love and accept myself for where I am, and to fully love and accept you for where you are.
What are you terrified of? What do you promise to commit to in order to get out of your own way?
So there we have it.