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As I sit here reflecting, 2017 has really pushed me way out my comfort zone. Like, every area of my life.
I've shed tears, I've had many laughs, met amazing people, made amazing memories with those by my side, accepted amazing opportunities, and it's all been guided by God and Spirit.
I walked across the Marist College stage in May. I've continued to build a soulful business helping women in every corner of the world. I did something wild & brave, yet so Divinely Guided to do so in October, which was the most beautiful blessing I could have ever given or received. I had forgiven and healed my past, let me just mention the immense peace and freedom that came with this action. I felt like my life was falling apart and I was breaking in November. I'm currently launching radical life transforming programs and a membership this month in December plus going even bigger in 2018. I've joined a Bible Study and a Prayer Group. I had an intense healing session that simply confirmed my utmost Divine Calling in this life. Most importantly, I've stepped fully and fearlessly into my purpose as a coach, a teacher, a healer, a friend.
As I think about this all, no matter the hardships and challenges I've faced, the choices I made, the blessings I brought to people, there was purpose in it all. The strength that I'm filled with, the love that I'm filled with, the hope that I'm filled with, the peace that I'm filled with, and the Spirit that I'm filled with guides me to bring that to every person I meet.
Always look for the blessing in every situation. Always choose to see love. ❤
Today I thought I’d write about something that’s a hard and sometimes a touchy subject. It’s something that has been heavy on my heart for a while now.
This is hard, it’s hard to forgive someone who has done something wrong to you, who hurt you. Trust me, I know. I know it all too well. I know what it’s like to feel so angry. I know what it’s like to feel helpless. I know what it’s like to feel stupid and dumb. I know what it’s like to feel degraded and inferior. I know what it’s like to hate and to hurt. But I also know what it’s like to feel loved, to feel smart, to feel equal, to feel helpful.
I have been hurt and lied to and so much more, especially what I just mentioned above. Someone who I should have been able to trust and love and count on, I couldn’t. Some people who are reading this who know me, you know what I’m talking about. But this person walked out of my life, granted that person was never there for me. I had always been so hurt and angry with this person that I felt numb over time. It’s better though because I don’t feel numb, angry, or sad. Yes, I may still be hurt, there were scars left behind that will never go away. But, I can honestly say that I have truly forgiven this person.
I wanted to give you all some advice and understanding on forgiveness. We, as a society, need to be more forgiving. I’m not saying forget because I certainly can’t forget what hurt was caused and the scars left behind, but to simply forgive. Whether it’s someone who hurt you, someone who could never be there for you, someone who walked out on you — whether it’s a parent, family member, friend, sibling, spouse, or yourself — forgive them for you, to give yourself peace, to release them from your mind.
Why should we forgive?
It releases us. Forgiving someone or something who has done something wrong against you doesn’t happen over night. Where it’s someone who attempts to compete with you or take your ideas, you get annoyed or angry; or if it’s someone who has caused a lot of pain to you, you feel hurt and angry and sad. Why? We often wonder “why me?” Why are you feeling like this, though? When you forgive, it releases us from those feeling and it releases those people from your emotions. Those people who cause us hurt and pain, they themselves are in pain. We need to always take a step back and wonder WHY someone could be acting the way they are.
Who should we forgive?
I think this one is pretty obvious. It could be a loved one, friend, or foe. It could even be yourself. Have you ever seen the movie or read the book “Tuesday’s With Morrie”? The movie was amazing, I have to buy the book though!! Morrie said something wonderful —
“Forgive everyone and everything right now before it’s too late.”
— It’s so true. It gives you a wonderful peace knowing that you have forgiven those who have done wrong against you. As my mother says, “don’t let them rent space in your head,” they’re not paying rent, so kick them out!
How do we forgive? Forgive everyone every single day. This includes forgiving yourself. Tell yourself “I forgive and release _(insert name here)_. I pray for them to heal, but I pray for myself to heal and be free.” Telling this to yourself daily, maybe even a few times a day and out loud, it will give you peace. Welcome this peace, love and understanding into your life.
It’s taken me a quite a while to even begin to work on forgiving this particular person. I had come to the realization that even though I promised myself I would never have any kind of contact with this person, I cannot let this person control my emotions. I will not allow negativity into my life and being angry at someone is negativity. I've truly completely forgiven them, but I did it for me. I’m doing it to bring peace and light and love into my life. I have been surrounded by a few amazing friends, my amazing boyfriend, my wonderful loving mother, brother, and grandparents. That’s a key, surround yourself with love and positivity!
There is no specific time limit to your journey in forgiving or your journey in healing. My journey took 3 years and a childhood of hurt. Welcome forgiveness, love, light, and understanding into your life. So I’ll leave you with one word… FORGIVE… Take and do with it what you wish. You can continue to hold a grudge and continue to be intoxicated by hatred and anger and negativity, OR you can be overwhelmed with love and indeed forgiveness!!!
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong.” ~Ghandi
Fear can be crippling. It can block you from healing.
Hurt can be painful. It can hold you back from forgiving truly, honestly, and completely.
Anger can be firey red. It can hold us in pain, fear, and hurt.
I was listening to a podcast with Lisa and John Bevere and they said that in order to completely forgive is to forgive how God would forgive us. This solidified in my heart because I knew I was extremely close to forgiving someone who hurt me. I knew that I had forgiven this person because I felt peace when I thought of them, I no longer felt hurt, no longer felt angry, no longer felt anxious. I knew there was more to do though. This person was my father and maybe one day he'll read this.
It took me years of working on healing and forgiving. Yes, I took an extremely deep spiritual route. All of this has all paid off and I am truly blesses and grateful that God has worked in my heart and in my life.
I did something. I did something beyond courageous. Beyond brave. It was something bigger and beyond myself. I did it for me. I did it for him. I did it and it was probably the most beautiful gift I not only could've received, but could've given. As I write this, I have tears in my eyes, my heart continues to feel heavy (in a good way), and I feel an overwhelming sense of peace. I don't care what others may think because I did it for myself.
Today, I invite you to do something brave, do something fearless, to do something that you're terrified of doing, to do something that will be a blessing to you and even possibly to someone else. I invite you to sit in prayer today, to sit in gratitude today, to sit in stillness to allow the peace to flow through you. Feel the feelings, cry it out, talk about it, and just allow yourself to gently forgive and release those feelings.
I love you and I forgive you.
Happy National Coffee Day for all you coffee lovers out there! (I personally love tea and lattes the most, but also enjoy a hot cut of coffee!)
Today, as September comes to a close, I sit in a moment of reflection of where I came from, my past, and how far I've come. This is pretty heavy for me to write, but I want you to know ME, I'm not superficial or fake, I'm real and deep.
I grew up in a home of emotional abuse, a father who was never there for me, the massive anxiety spikes, but yet I grew up around love. In 2014, my father left us, he said he "needed a break". That's when shit hit the fan. My anxiety went through the roof, many sleepless nights of nightmares and waking up crying. Oh, did I mention, a week after my father left I totaled my car? Talk about bad timing, but I walked away with only a bruise on my arm.
The divorce was nasty between my mom and my dad, all over the typical money and custody of my little brother. Let's just say I haven't seen or spoken to my dad since Valentine's day of 2015. In 2016, I changed my last name to my mom's maiden name. Honestly, no one convinced me to change it, no one forced me to change it. It was my own decision and a decision that I don't regret or was afraid of doing. Later that year, I found out that my dad basically didn't care about me nor my future and that he was living a double life. The hope that I was holding onto shattered in a million pieces. I felt broken, betrayed, abandoned, and extremely sad. I felt like this for a while, it took some time to get out of that crappy funky mood.
As I look at this all, there's some thoughts that come up. First, I can thank my dad for teaching me what I didn't want in a man, a husband, or a father for my own children. Second, he did the best he could with what he knew how to. Third, I know he still loves me and is proud of me even though I don't speak to him. I have an amazing boyfriend of 4 years which we are now living together, I graduated from Marist College with my bachelor's degree earlier this year, I own my own online business that I've built from the ground up with two beautiful programs, I work with clients from every corner of the world, and I'm changing lives! My dreams have turned into goals, which are actually turning into my reality! I'm pretty damn proud of myself!
Will I or do I have a relationship with my dad? No, probably not. I do want to write to him though, which is ok. I do want him to know how I'm doing, what's going on in life, and how impactful my purpose is on this Earth. To know that I have completely forgiven him is probably the most radically transforming and empowering act I've ever done in my life. I forgive him for everything and I am at peace about this. I have no negative thoughts towards him or about him anymore.
Why am I sharing all of this with you though? Because I hope that this will help bring some sort of peace into your life or to begin the process of healing and forgiving. To forgive someone does not mean to forget, but rather to free yourself. Sure, you'll feel feelings of anger, hurt, sadness, etc., but I promise you it's so worth it. Many people say that I am courageous and brave for what I'm done, but I know in my soul that God wanted me to forgive like I've already been forgiven. I know He wanted me to do this and made me go through all of this to be able to help other women. This is my soul purpose, I went through everything I went through in order to be here with you right now.
With this, I hope you spend some time today in reflection and beginning your journey to forgive and heal whatever wounds you are dealing with.
Much love & blessings,
I'm Kailee, your go to Soul Coach & Holistic Lifestyle Coach! I'm so happy you're here to join me on this journey!
Here's what you can expect from me!
~ Honesty, fearlessness, love, light, and healing peace
~ Push you to conquer any self sabotaging, limiting belief systems
~ Guide you to living in God's grace
~ Guide you to trust the Universe
~ Boho chic vibes & fun!
~ A sacred & safe experience and spaces
~ Inspirational messages with Country Class Mentor
~ Holistic lifestyle tips & tricks for those on a budget with Healthy Soul 360
I work with women who are ready to conquer their fears, ignite their inner flame, and ready to dive deep into their spiritual journey while also getting healthy with a holistic lifestyle approach. I extend my holistic wellness & lifestyle coaching to men as well in partner with my amazing boyfriend, Carlton, who is extremely motivational and of course I needed some male presence!
Be sure to connect with me, send me an email, chat with me on social media, and definitely subscribe to my newsletters!